Jaded of Mara
by SpeedBump
Summary: My version of Luke and Mara....Mara cannot ignore certain feelings any longer, and this is complicated by her and Luke's bond...you know...:)


soooooooooo......I've never written a Star Wars fic before...but I am a L/M girl, and I just couldn't resist...:) and so, it begins, the playing with characters I have no rights to...:) oh yeah....I have no idea about time lines, so just go with it.... also...I have a horrible inability to spell...sorry!  
  
  
Jaded of Mara:  
  
Mara Jade sighed and leaned back in her captain's chair and watched the starlines blur past. She had completed yet another successful trade run. Karrade would be well pleased. As should she, Mara reflected. She sighed again and loosened her hair from it's tight confining braid. There was satisfaction in a job done, and yet, Mara frowned, it wasn't enough anymore.   
  
The first few years after Yavin she struggled heavily with depression, anger, bitterness, and her work brought her comfort and desparetly needed stability. Gradually, over the years, as she conquered her demons one by one, work remained a lifeline, but there were more important lifelines making their absences felt. She had conquered the past, but the future was beginning to make its petulant demands known. She was no longer content to focus solely on work, and her mind had begun to dream, as it had not dreamed for a very, very, long time.  
  
Mara sighed one last long sigh and finally allowed herself to acknowledge those irritating soft feelings. She wanted a man, and a family, and a home. Mara grimaced and scrubbed at her eyes. It was unthinkable. An ex-assassin with children? The New Republic's most dangerous woman married? settled down? She shook her head, it was not possible. She wearily dropped her boots from the console and moved to the ship's kitchen and poured herself some water and sat down at the table.   
  
It had been more than years since she had last engaged in...well...intimate contact with a man, and even that had been a one night stand. She had very few personal attachments in this world, and that fact had never bothered her before. But now, now she wanted more than just a one night stand. She wanted a lover. She wanted to know what it was like to wake up and fall asleep next to a man, the same man, for fifty years. She wanted to know what it was like to be awoken in bed by small urgent hands and voices. She wanted to know what it was to love and to be loved in return in a way that was so total and unconditional, it was never questioned.   
  
Mara sighed. She supposed it was only natural, after living the first 18 (?) years of her life surrounded by hate, anger, death, and pain, and then next 8 (?) dealing with the scars and bitterness she was left with, that her mind should turn to the last emotion it had left to discover. That or nature making its toll felt. Mara sighed. Biology was not on her side. Even if she could find someone who wouldn't faint away dead at the thought of dating an ex-assassin, it would take years, decades, to work through all the emotional baggage that she came with, and then, only then could she have a chance at all of those things she kept hidden in her heart. By that time she would be too old to have children.   
  
Mara sighed and watched her dreams float away from her. She relinquished their hold on her heart and as a single tear crept down her cheek, she blinked hard down at her clenched hands on the table.  
  
  
Corsecrunt: (A/N:or however the hell you spell it!:))  
  
Mara made her way down the ramp of her ship, holding her bags. She was surprised to feel a familiar presence and a cheerful whistle. Mara snapped her shields in place as she looked up, pausing mid-stride on the ramp.   
Luke stood at the far end of the hangar, leaning casually against the wall, arms crossed over his own jump suit, grinning crazily at her. Mara blinked politely and for a moment they just stared at each other through the sunlight between them. Then Mara took a deep breath and changed her course down the ramp, towards him. It had been a few months since they'd seen each other, but Mara was sure that wasn't the reason her heart was beating irregularly, or the reason her mood seemed to lift under his smiling countenance.  
Luke peeled himself off the wall and came to meet her, and Mara could feel his laughter through her shield. She couldn't help it, a small smile crept across her features. Mara felt her awkwardness multiply tenfold as he approached. She wasn't sure which greeting was appropriate. Normally they just nodded and smiled at each other, but after getting off her ship anticipating nothing more than a rather gloomy review session with Karrade and a lonely trip to her apartment, Luke's face was the most welcome sight she ever felt she'd seen.   
Luke solved her problem for her. As they approached Luke held out his arms and trapped her into an embrace. Mara endured it stiffly, but Luke refused to let go after the appropreiat amount of time and Mara could feel his teasing laughter ringing in her mind's ear.   
  
"Damnit Skywalker." She muttered under her breath and Luke laughed above her ear somewhere.   
  
"What's the matter, Jade, can't two old friends hug each other?" Mara squirmed again and Luke laughed again. "or is it the fact that everyone in the hangar can see us that you're worried about?" Mara dropped her bags.   
  
"Fine," she growled. "don't pretend like you didn't ask for it." Luke's reply was cut off as Mara's hands gripped his hips and she twisted out of his arms in one quick snap. Her hands relinquished hold of his belt and came up and grabbed his shirt and in a quick fluid movement she tumbled him over her out-stretched leg onto the hard concrete floor.   
All this was accomplished in a matter of seconds with as little effort as tossing a child. Luke grunted and turned over on his back, still grinning at her. Mara unclenched the fist she didn't know she had made and glanced around. The hangar was very, very, still. People were staring. Mara sighed grimly and she could feel Luke's taunting laughter and she bit her lip to hide an answering laugh that floated to the surface. Instead she held out her hand.   
  
"I'm sorry, did you trip over my bag?" Her voice was loud innocent. Luke took her hand up.  
  
"Yeah, I seem to be exceptionally clumsy today, sorry about that." Mara hid her grin and pretended to help him dust himself off. "Oh, it's okay, lemme help you with that." He picked up her bags and straightened as they set off towards the far end of the hangar. The hangar was as still as a tomb. Mechanics everywhere had doffed their welding helmets and were staring at them over and behind ships. Mara bit her lip and kept up the banal conversation Luke was making, pretending not to notice the young mechanics that were staring at her and whispering to their friends.   
They reached the end of the hanger and Luke held open the door with his boot as Mara slipped through. Luke paused, looked out at the still and silent hangar, raised his eyebrows and shouted,   
  
"Back to work!" Instantly there was a flurry of commotion as machinery started up and mechanics began hollering noisily at each other over the roar of engines and clank of tools. Luke smiled and followed Mara into the turbo lift.   
Mara keyed in the floor and rolled her eyes at Luke who was still grinning like the farmboy she accused him of being. Deep behind her shields, she smiled to herself.   
  
"Well, I'm glad to see you too, Mara." Luke smiled at her and Mara fought back a smile. She met his eyes impassively.   
  
"It's been a while, Skywalker." Her voice was cool and detached, but Luke wasn't fooled.   
  
"You're just mad because I won." His voice was airy and light. Mara arched her eyebrow.   
  
"I am not the one who ended up on the floor, I think that qualifies as "winning"." Her voice carried heavy sarcasm, and Luke snorted.   
  
"yeah, but who's the one who's gonna get arrested for assaulting the Jedi Master?" He smiled at her and she wrinkled her nose.   
  
"If I wanted to "assault" the Jedi Master, I assure you, I'd have already done it. And if the Jedi Master needs protection from his precious New Republic, he's obviously not a Master, now is he?" Luke smiled and stepped out of the turbo lift.   
  
"What are you doing tonight?" He asked abruptly, his arm across the door of the turbo lift to stop it from leaving. Mara shrugged.  
  
"not much, unpacking." Luke flashed her a smile.   
  
"then let's have dinner tonight. My place, 8:00." Mara opened her mouth to tell him no, that she was too busy, but the doors closed and she didn't have the chance. She could still feel Luke laughing as she entered her apartment.  
  
  
After a short de-briefing with Karrade and some quality un-packing time, Mara fell back on her sofa and stared around her room. It finally looked like someone lived there. She sighed, loosened her hair and stared out her window at the rain. She had tried to let go, but the hope had not yet deserted her. There was a desparete struggle raging inside, and she had never thought she had an idealistic side, but part of her was stubbornly clinging to the notion that somehow, someway, she might find the happiness she desired. She opened eyes that had somehow closed themselves and peered at the window latch. Frowning, she forced the latch open and with a gentle push swung the windows wide open and inhaled the cool wet breeze that flowed past her ears.   
  
*What's the matter Jade?* the voice echoed inside her skull. Mara frowned.   
  
*How the hell did you get in?* She sent back, making sure her tone was hostile and checking all her barriers. They were all intact. She felt Luke smile.   
  
*It's this thing we have called a bond, Jade. You can shut everyone out but I still have the key to the back door. The only time I can't feel you is if you're cloaking and-* Mara concentrated on cloaking herself, and just like that he was gone, it was all gone, the only one in her head was herself, and she suddenly realized she wasn't used to it. She wasn't used to it at all.   
  
"Great," she thought. "as if I needed to be anymore alone."   
  
*You're not alone* said a persistently annoying voice. Mara sighed and set her teeth as she searched for the leak.   
  
*What part of "get the hell out" don't you understand?* She did not need Skywalker to hear that. There wasn't a leak. She frowned.   
  
*You didn't let me finish. I can't feel you if you're cloaking unless I already know where you are, and I do.* Mara gritted her teeth and thought horrible, violent thoughts for Luke's benefit. Luke smiled again.   
  
*Come on, what's the matter?* Mara set her chin and closed her eyes.   
  
*Are you this invasive with other people?* Luke smiled.  
  
*I bet it's nothing a little dinner and dancing and drinking won't fix. It's 8:00, Jade. You need to get a move on, your very, very, hungry date is waiting.* the communication snapped and Mara felt him outside her door as a knock split the silence of the room. Mara sighed explosively and got up from the couch. She unlocked the door and glared at the grinning blond-haired man outside her door. Luke moved forwards and Mara was forced to conceded the door as he showed no signs of stopping, despite his proximity to her. She could feel him laughing again and she threw him a mental glare as she moved towards her bed room.   
  
She emerged after a while in a casual green shirt and black pants. Luke, damn him, was expecting her and smiled when she entered. She gave him her best frosty glare and ignored him completely as she moved across the room to gather her personal effects. She turned and found Luke at the door, waiting. She avoided his eyes and slid out the door in front of him.   
  
  
The restaurant he chose was bright and crowded, and filled with informally clad people, some of which they knew. Mara frowned and Luke smiled.   
  
*Sorry.* He apologized as Leia, smiling broadly, moved towards them. Mara swore inwardly. She could tell he'd gotten the message and closed off hostilities as Leia approached.  
  
"Mara! When did you get in? I hadn't heard anything or I would've been sure to invite you." Leia smiled and hugged Luke. Mara shrugged.   
  
"I just got in today, and farmboy dragged me off here without even telling me what was going on." Luke smiled sheepishly.   
  
*Hey, would you have come if you'd know where we were going? I know you, Mara.* Mara frowned  
  
*And what are you, Mr. Society?* Luke's sense turned sheepish and Mara turned her attention back to the conversation Luke and Leia were having.   
  
"Alright, I won't bother you tonight, but do try to see if you could go say hi to some of the guests." Leia flashed them one last smile and dissapeared into one of the circles of people. Mara was surprised to feel a small stab of envy as she watched Leia walk off. Damn that woman. She had everything. Mara sighed again and turned her attention back to a very, very sheepish Luke.   
  
"You lying, deceiving-" Her face was calm, but her tone was deadly. Luke raised his hands in defense and cut her off  
  
"Well, I did promise dinner, dancing, and drinking, and all can be accomplished here..." Mara sighed resignedly.   
  
"I supposed I can't kill you, I've already given up that crusade." A few people passing by turned their heads to stare at the comment. Luke started to smile and Mara bit her lip to keep an answering smile down. Luke took her arm and steered her towards a back table.   
  
*Just couldn't keep that one to yourself, could you Jade?* Mara could feel his laughter.   
  
*Oh, the rumors we're starting, Skywalker. We're never going to hear the end of it.* She sent. Luke smiled.   
  
"Rather, I'm never going to hear the end of it. Everyone's too scared of you to tease you about anything." Mara's sense slipped back into the sadness that had been plaguing her. Luke frowned. *I'll tease you if it'll make you feel better.* Mara's sense flared into anger as they sat down. She met his eyes directly.   
  
"Stay out of my mind, Skywalker. There's nothing in there you want to know." Luke flushed.   
  
"I told you before, it's virtually impossible for me to be compleatly out of your mind." His voice was exasperated. "If I happen to comment on stuff, it's only because a small part of my consciousness is wrapped up in yours, and it finds it hard to ignore some of the things that go through your head." Mara eyed him darkly. Luke continued. "It's only because I care, Mara." Mara smiled thinly.   
  
"Well I would appreciate this gift thing much better if you could turn it off." Luke gritted his teeth and tried to fight back the surge of annoyance and failed. He stood up and sighed.   
  
"Fine, I'm going to go circulate. Just remember," He found her eyes and Mara refused to react to the intensity of his gaze. "It takes two to create a bond, Jade." With that the Jedi Master turned on his heel and stalked aimlessly off into the swirling society. Mara watched him go, a strangely soft expression on her face. Damn him and his constant need to try and help her. Her heart ached, for all the problems he could not help her with, but she was sure he already knew that. Damn him again.   
  
There was a sudden hand on her shoulder and a slender woman stood at her side. Mara turned violent flashing eyes to the small woman, daring her to speak. The woman smiled painfully and slid into Luke's empty seat. Mara raised her eyebrow and gifted the woman with her best cold stare. The woman swallowed, glanced at Mara's eyes and swallowed once again and began in a clear, cool voice. She recognized her as one of the top reporters on Corsecrunt.   
  
"I'm sorry to bother you, Ms. Jade-" Mara stared at her completely unimpressed. The woman continued. "but I was just wondering," The woman glanced at Mara who was frowning at her. The woman visibly steeled herself and hurried out, "if you and Mr. Skywalker were together." Mara's face clouded swiftly and her previously unguarded eyes were suddenly unreadable. Her face was once again blank.   
  
"Not at all." Her voice was measured. The woman's face brightened considerably.   
  
"Oh, thank you so much. I didn't want to step on any toes."   
  
"Please, feel free." She tipped her chin in Luke's direction and said nothing, just stared and the woman was at a loss for a moment before flashing one last pitiful smile and hurrying off. Mara felt her mood darken. She very subtly reached out towards Luke, his back was towards her all the way across the room, but she saw his shoulders tense and she smiled grimly and released the contact. Luke didn't turn around, and Mara felt anger, deep down inside of her flare. Resolutely she tore her eyes away and ordered another drink. There was a gaping wound inside her and she had no idea how to heal it, and she had just run off the one who knew her best. She felt like hell.   
  
Someone slid into Luke's absent spot. Mara looked up. Leia met Mara's eyes, and Mara knew she had been caught staring.   
  
"What is it?" Mara stared down at the glass and avoided Leia's compelling eyes. There was no use in trying to hide it from her. She was persistent. She'd probably send Solo over if she refused to talk about it.  
  
"Nothing, your brother and I are just having another disagreement." Leia barely concealed her smile.   
  
"About what?" Mara sighed explosively.   
  
"Don't you have some circulating to do?" She asked peevishly. Leia smiled.   
  
"I've got a few minuets to catch up, come on, stop stalling." Mara's dangerous tone completely lost upon her. Mara sighed again.   
  
"He won't stay out of my mind and he gets offended if I tell him to." Leia could not contain her mirth. Mara fixed her with one of her best stares, which completely failed to stop Leia from shaking with silent laughter behind her hand. Finally she pulled herself under control and grinned at Mara. "You know," Mara commented idly, "most people would've stopped sniggering and left the second I looked at them." Leia smiled and patted her hand.   
  
"I am afraid that once one gets to know you, your violent tendencies tend to be forgotten. I apologize. However, in regards to this latest 'tiff' you and my brother are having, have you ever considered the fact (Which is fairly obvious to most of us) that, well-" Leia paused here and wiggled her eyebrows at Mara suggestively. Mara rolled her eyes.   
  
"Thank you, Madame Chief of State, that helps so much." Leia sighed.   
  
"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Mara raised her eyebrow skepticly.   
  
"Evidently. My course in edicate didn't cover suggestive eyebrow raising."   
  
"You're not going to like it." Leia smiled. "In fact it's only the fact that I'm the chief of state that makes me feel safe enough to insinuate this, but-" Mara sighed audibly and Leia smiled. "I think, perhaps, the possibility exists that there is some sort of tension, unresolved of course, between you two, that would imply deep, significant-" Leia cut off, watching Mara closely. In an instant Mara's face was calm and emotionless. She blinked pointedly at Leia and Leia's entire demeanor changed. Her smile faded, and the humor was gone. She took a deep breath and continued.   
  
"Look, I know what I feel from Luke, Mara, and he cares about you a lot. Be careful, whatever you do, he's had his heart broken too many times for one life." Leia stood, gave Mara one last compelling glance and moved away. Mara called for another drink. She was given to drinking on occasion, and she was beginning to think that this was one of those.   
  
*Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp* Mara jerked and blinked out at the crowd.   
  
*Damnit Skywalker, isn't there a way you could knock or something?* Luke's sense turned sheepish again.   
  
*Sorry.* Luke smiled. *I'll do anything, anything at all, if you would just come rescue me from her. please!* His sense took on a very desperate coloring. Mara stood and frowned.   
  
*Why am I always saving your sorry ass?*   
  
*I don't care why, but she's duller than Threepio.* Mara snorted as she wound her way through the chatting businessmen and politicians.   
  
*I thought you liked that droid.* Luke seethed with impatience.   
  
*I don't care, I don't care, just come drag me away.* Mara raised her eyebrow.   
  
*oh, like I could.* Luke sighed.   
  
*just do something!* Mara gritted her teeth and threaded her way through a particularly tight section of people and found Luke sitting across from the woman she had talked to earlier that night. Mara bit back a laugh and approached.   
  
"Hello, Skywalker." Mara drawled casually. Luke jumped and looked up at her and smiled.   
  
"Mara, how's your night going?" his voice was hopeful. Mara smiled cordially back.   
  
"Wonderful. Except no one will ask me to dance. Do you mind?" She smiled sweetly at the young woman Luke had been talking with. She flushed and shook her head no. Mara smiled and Luke said his goodbyes.   
  
A second later she found her hand in Luke's and his palm on the small of her back as he guided her towards the dance floor. Mara bit back a comment about his touchy-feely-ness as the swirling couples surrounded them.   
Mara turned to face him, her face very guarded. Luke smiled and took up the proper dancing pose and waited as Mara, her eyes very, very, feral, stepped forward and slipped her hand into his and her arm onto his, and they began to dance. Luke had never been any good, but he never expected the expert grace Mara suddenly assumed. She was relaxed, comfortable, and completely at home. Luke stumblingly followed her as she unconsciously moved through the steps of the dance, her sharp eyes unfocused, mouth very close to one of her rare smiles.   
It had been light years since she had danced without some sort of ulterior motive, like a business deal, but rather simply to enjoy the company of those around her and the one she was dancing with. She lost herself in the crush of couples, the soaring music, and the feel of another's arms around her. She felt her feet going through the instinctive movements, but her mind was caught and held by a small facts. She could hear his breaths, his hand was hot on her hip, and for a moment, she was no longer bitter, lonely, or scarred. She was a woman dancing, and that was all she had to be.   
Luke felt the weight of his intense feeling where Mara was concerned suddenly come crashing down on his shoulders, and he was quite sure that he had crossed the line between caring and straight out love a long, long time ago.   
He watched her, mesmerized, barely remembering to shield his strong feelings as she deftly slipped through the motions, her body brushing very close to his own.   
Luke winced as he accidentally stepped on Mara's foot and she snapped out of her reviere. Intense green eyes found his own and he suddenly had problems swallowing as he realized that they were a lot closer than they had started out being.   
  
(A/N: is it just me or are there a lot of eyes and swallows in this fic??...hmmmmmmm I'll have to cut back on my bodily actions and parts...:))  
  
Mara's eyes darkened and she moved back imperceptibly as she tipped her face slightly upwards to look at him.   
  
"What?" her tone was quiet, but Luke could hear her over the noise of the other couples swirling around them. Luke shook his head.   
  
"Sorry, I just forgot you're a good dancer." Mara shrugged and started back into the dance.   
  
"One of the more socially acceptable parts of my training." She glanced at him and Luke's heart squeezed.   
  
"So you don't enjoy it?" His tone came out kinda squeaky, which was okay, because it was noisy, and no one could really hear anyways. Mara shrugged and maneuvered them deftly through the crowded ranks.   
  
"It depends." Luke watched her gaze track over the people around them, briefly flitting across his face and he knew that he had succeeded in keeping his feelings hidden thus far.   
  
"On what?" His voice was hopeful. Mara shrugged.   
  
"On everything. The partner, the music, the place, the purpose..." Her green eyes snapped back to Luke's. "Why?" Luke shrugged embarrassed.   
  
"I'm just wondering how I'm doing." Mara studied him and he could feel her gentle probing, but his defenses held. She offered him the barest hint of a smile.   
  
"You're fine, Luke."   
  
  
Leia stared covertly at the couple waltzing away from behind her wine glass. She had been watching them every chance she got. There was something there. She was sure about Luke's role in this "thing", the only unknown factor was Mara. Leia sighed, for all that her Jedi skills had advanced over the years, Mara Jade was still a question mark she had no ability to understand. The woman was a blank wall, physically and mentally. She no longer feared Mara as an adversary, and she considered her a friend, but she worried about Mara's effect on Luke. Leia's eyes, dark with worry, blinked, then cleared as she spotted people she had not spoken to yet. One last glance and she stood and moved towards a table, her face cordial and unworried.   
  
  
  
The way home was dark and silent between them. They were both wrapped up in personal thoughts. Luke was thinking about dark green eyes, and Mara was thinking about the hand that had been on her waist for three or four dances. They reached Mara's door and there was an awkward pause before Mara went forward to her lock with her key. She swiped the lock and turned around to say goodbye to Luke, but he was directly behind her.   
Mara blinked, surprised at his proximity, and mentally berated herself for not checking his position before she moved. "But you did", a voice whispered to her. "You knew exactly where he was and you turned around anyways".   
Luke's eyes were locked on her and she read his determination there and felt a thrill of excitement travel her spine.   
  
"You woke me up three nights ago, Jade. I swear to you, whatever it is, there is only so long you can hide it from me. I will find out." His voice was low and serious, and Mara had no choice but to believe him. She stood there blinking, trying to think of some way to reply to him, and she suddenly realized he was leaning closer, angling towards her cheek.   
Mara turned her head towards him and looked at him calmly. Luke paused and his eyes flashed up to meet hers. They stood like that for a long moment, neither one daring to breath. Mara drew her eyes down Luke's face expressionlessly and her eyes held a challenge. A brief smile flickered across Luke's features and he closed the distance between them and kissed her softly on the mouth. Mara did not respond, but when Luke pulled away, her eyelids fluttered open from where she had apparently closed them. Luke swallowed and muttered,   
  
"Lightsaber practice, tomorrow, the gym, eight o'clock," turned, and left back down the hall.   
Mara stood in front of her door staring after him for a long time. Her heart was in her throat and she was still desperatly fighting a blush. Heat rose from her stomach to her chest and finally she tore herself out of her daze and blinked at her open door, took a deep breath and moved unsteadily inwards. She could feel him like electricity in her mind, and she wondered at the new sensations he had produced in her. She felt light, airy, and free. Her lips were burning and Mara touched a hand to them once the door was closed and stared at her wall.   
  
  
Eight o'clock came quickly and Mara cursed as she turned over and glanced at the chrono. It was eight o'clock and she wasn't ready.   
  
*Tick tock, Jade* Luke's laughter was palpable. Mara glared around the room.   
  
*What did I tell you about doing that?* she put as much irritation as she could on the thought and headed toward the fresher. Luke smiled one last time and left, but Mara could still feel him there on the edge of her consciousness, waiting patiently.  
  
Mara jogged the last few yards to the gym and paused to catch her breath before leisurely opening the door and entering. Luke was expecting her again, damn him, and she took her own sweet time to dump her bag on one of the various benches and look over all her stuff before looking up to meet his eyes. Luke was watching her, smiling softly and Mara felt a jolt as his calm, fathomless blue eyes met hers and her stomach muscles tightened, but she refused to look away until he grinned, a peaceful, knowing, grin. Mara resisted a shiver and raised her eyebrows boredly.   
  
"So?" Her voice was monotone. Luke took a step to the side and called his lightsaber to his hand, simultaneously igniting it.   
  
"So, it's time for my dance." His voice was easy, smooth. Mara raised her eyebrows and struck. Luke hadn't even noticed she had her lightsaber in hand.   
  
And so the violent, dangerous, and very very skilled battle waged across the room like a twisted dance. There were many times either of the participants were inches from harm, but a sixth sense guided them away. The loud sizzle of their weapons carried down the hall, and gradually people from different parts of the gym drifted to stand mesmerized at the windows and door of the room, each drawn to the rare and impressive sight of two equally matched force-sensitives putting on a fight to end all fights.   
Mara grimaced as Luke placed a well-aimed kick her behind her knee and her leg collapsed beneath her. She let herself fall, rolling as she did so, avoiding Luke's second kick that would have sent her lightsaber spinning across the floor. Mara clicked off her lightsaber and flung it at Luke. It caught him in the stomach, right under his diaphragm, and he halted and bent double, searching for air. Mara flipped up, snatched her lightsaber back from Luke's clutches with the force, ignited it, and swung it at Luke's laxly held saber. Blue met green and green spun violently across the gym, shutting off halfway.   
  
Mara brought her saber up and snapped it off, taking a deep, steadying breath as she did so, and letting go of her fierce hold on the force. She opened her eyes and looked at Luke, wheezing, still bent over. He coughed, grimaced and tried to straighten.   
  
"Jesus you're unorthodox, Mara." Mara concealed a smile.   
  
"Well it worked, and I was not the one who started the physical contact."   
  
Luke made a face and Mara started to limp back towards the benches. Luke caught up with her and slid an easy arm around her waist. Mara's instinct was to pull away, but her knee did hurt, and he was intoxicatingly close. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. Luke's calm, peaceful, serene gaze met her own and Mara forced down the heat that threatened to rise to her cheeks. She did allow herself the small luxury of leaning slightly into him before moving towards the bench again.   
Luke closed his eyes and recited the Jedi code as Mara gradually relaxed against his side and continued walking to the bench. He felt her sense jerk and she stiffened against him and stopped. Luke opened his eyes and looked at her. Her face was empty and her shoulders were tense. Luke followed her gaze and saw the handful of people that were still milling around the door and window hoping for more action and he sighed and let his arm drop. Mara stepped away from him and continued on her way to the bench, not a sign of limp in her gait. Luke smiled inwardly and watched the people quickly slip out of sight as Mara graced them with a few of her best glares and sat down on the bench, rubbing her arms with a towel. Luke put his fists on his hips and watched her, amusement in his eyes as she briskly rubbed her face and neck. Gradually she became aware of his gaze and her eyes darkened and slid up to meet his. Luke's grin broadened and her eyes widened at his expression.   
  
"What?" Her voice was sharp, but, Luke noticed, it was not as sharp as it could've been. He took this as a good sign and decided to push his luck a little farther. He smiled again.   
  
"You just took down the Jedi Master, and you're the one upset about being seen?" Mara's head snapped to his and her green eyes smoldered at him.   
  
"I did no such thing. You were perfectly capable of stopping me." Luke shook his head.  
  
"No I wasn't." Mara arched her eyebrow.   
  
"I have it on excellent authority that you were fine. You were just to damn lazy to keep going." Luke smiled.   
  
"Ah, the bond betrays me." he wearily dipped to take his seat beside her, hooking his arms over the bench. His hand brushed her shoulder. "you know," he began again casually. "you always give me the closest run for my money. There was a reason I was too lazy to fight more." Mara glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and Luke felt her sense stiffen with suspicion.   
  
"Why're you being so nice to me?" Her voice was irritable. Luke simply looked at her and she stretched out to probe his fairly impenetrable barriers once more. There was a moment of unrecognition, and then he retreated behind them. Mara frowned. She did not have full enough comprehension of the bond in order to pursue him behind his walls, but she had caught a flash of confusing emotion before he had departed and she frowned at him. Luke shrugged and stood, turning away.   
  
"Come on, I'll feed you."   
  
  
  
  
  
Later that night, after dinner at Leia's, which Mara bore tolerably well from the amount of sadness the occasion seemed to cause in her mind, Luke walked Mara to her apartment, using the excuse that they both lived on the same block, so there was no reason not to. Leia hadn't bought it though, and her eyes had shone with suppressed laughter as she bid them goodnight, and Luke knew Mara was pretending not to notice either her or Han.   
As they walked along in silence, Luke could feel her sadness swirling around her again and he made up his mind to pry it from her once and for all. They arrived at her door and she once again stepped forward to swipe her lock and Luke once again stepped up close behind her. This time she didn't turn around. She stood there staring at the handle. Luke waited patiently. Mara waged an internal war, and he felt resistance drain out of her and her shoulders sagged.   
  
"Fine." She muttered and opened the door, turning to look at him. "Come in." Luke blinked at her and honored her request, trying not to smile too broadly. Mara shot him a obscure glare and moved around her living room, setting down her keys and turning on lamps and closing blinds. Luke watched her, shrugged off his jacket and waited for her to stop ignoring him. Mara looked up at him sharply.   
  
"Would you like anything to drink, eat?" Luke shook his head and Mara sighed and rustled around the room moving things. Luke felt the need to take the situation in hand.   
  
"Damn it, Jade, sit down!" He instantly regretted his words as Mara's blazing eyes found his from across the dim room. She raised her eyebrows.   
  
"What did you just say?" her voice was soft and dangerous. Luke swallowed. It was too late to back down. He met her gaze just as expressionlessly.  
  
"I said, sit down. We're going to deal with whatever is bothering you, and we're going to do it now." his tone was extremely frustrated and Mara found herself shocked at the evidence of his frustration. She stared at him and didn't move. Luke sighed, ran a hand over his face and began again.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry, but this constant monkey on your back is dragging at me, and I really would like it if you would tell me what is wrong instead of bottling it up all day." He paused and Mara continued staring at him expressionlessly. Luke continued. "Mara, don't look at me like that. I'm your friend and I'm trying to do what friends do, but you're making it very very difficult for me to do that." Mara blinked and drew herself out of his eyes.   
  
"I don't need your help." She said it softly, like it was the truth, and for a second Luke doubted himself. Then she blinked harder than she should have and tears glimmered in the dim lighting. Luke's resolve returned. He crossed his arms and stared at her.   
  
"I'm going to stand here until you tell me what the hell is bothering you." Mara's eyes were flat and empty.   
  
"Fine, go ahead." She wandered into the kitchen, grabbed a glass of water, passed back through the living room, completely ignored Luke, and slammed the door to her bedroom.   
  
  
Luke sighed and looked around the living room. He'd been standing there for three hours, and he hadn't heard a peep out of Mara's room. He sighed, kicked off his shoes, and lay down on the couch. It was not long before he was sleeping quietly.   
  
Mara gasped and sat straight up in bed. She couldn't remember the nightmare she just had, but it was enough that she felt insecure, desperate, frightened, and her heart was beating like she'd just run a mile. She took a deep breath and then she felt him in her living room. She took a good look around her room, and bit her lip. Sighing again, damn the man, she swung her legs out of bed and padded barefoot to the door of her room in her nightshirt. She paused at the door, bitting her lip as an internal struggle raged, and finally the draw was too much and she slipped out the door. She padded down the dark hallway to the living room where her eyes dimly spied a form lengthwise on her couch. She paused at his feet, unable to bring herself to wake him, unable to return to her room. Luke's voice came out of the dark and startled her.   
  
"Bad dream?" Mara swallowed and nodded.   
  
"you're still here?" Her voice was soft, without the edge it normally carried. Luke sighed and sat up, running an idle hand through is hair.   
  
"I said I would be, so I am." His voice was quiet and defeated. He looked up at Mara and she suddenly found herself tongue-tied, unwilling to tell him why she was not in bed. She felt his eyes through the dark and she resisted a blush. Luke held out his hand and Mara stared at him, ignoring it. Luke sighed and withdrew his hand to scrub at his eyes. "What was your dream about?" Mara sighed and bit her lip.   
  
"I don't know." Luke frowned and she could feel his tentative touch. She gritted her teeth. "I told you to stay out, Skywalker, and I meant it." Luke removed his presence, but he moved closer to her. Mara watched him come closer and closer through the gloom, blinking only when he stopped at her end of the couch. His knee was inches from her own and his eyes were staring up at her in a very disconcerting manner. Mara suddenly realized that her hair was down and she was only wearing a long shirt. She resisted the urge to squirm and returned his stare. Luke sighed and his defenses dropped and Mara could see exhaustion and hurt there and she felt terrible. She looked down  
  
"What are you hiding from me?" Mara dragged her eyes to meet his and tension returned.   
  
"Why do you care so much?" She snapped, irritation returning. Luke's hand came to rest on the side of her knee. Mara tried not to notice the jolt that shot through her as his skin touched hers lightly.  
  
"Mara," He paused and Mara tensed at the sound of his voice. She looked down at him as he slowly stood up, refusing to back down. They were inches away from each other's faces and Mara shivered at the compelling expression in his haunted eyes. She felt naked, defenseless before his gaze. And when he raised his hand to her face and smoothed a lock of hair behind her ear, she felt helpless to move, helpless to breath, helpless to blink, and helpless to stop him. All her training and experience vanished and she was frozen in place, trapped by the pull of his calm voice and the whisper of promise in his eyes. For the second time in two days Luke Skywalker leaned forward and gently kissed Mara Jade on the mouth. Mara felt her hearing fade and the blood rush in her temples as heat blossomed in her chest and slowly rose in her cheeks. There were promises made in that kiss, and they were promises that, try as she might, she could not ignore. Luke felt some of the darkness surrounding Mara's mind recede and he broke the kiss, embraced her and whispered to her ear,  
  
"The entire planet knows why I care so much, I'm sure it's nothing you can't figure out." Mara didn't move, didn't breath and Luke pulled back and looked at her. Her eyes were still closed and she swayed slightly. Luke caught her hip through her thin shirt.(A/N:!!!!!...Mara! Where's your underwear?:)) She made no movement, and Luke leaned forward and kissed her softly again.   
For a moment Mara did not react, and then she inhaled sharply and against her will her arms twisted themselves around Luke's neck and she pulled him down to her fiercely, as the fire that had been lit within her flared into a raging storm and she suddenly dropped her barriers, becoming involved physically and mentally. The entire nature of the kiss changed. His arms bound her to him and she broke from his lips, her breathing ragged, fire flaming in her eyes. Luke stared down at her, his own eyes clear and shinning with happiness. Mara staved off thought and closed her eyes as he leaned in and kissed her yet again.   
  
The next morning...  
(A/N:Geeze...I wonder what they did the rest of the night!....:D:D:D)  
  
Mara woke up suddenly, staring at the ceiling. Something was wrong. She was awash with swirling emotions and thoughts. For a moment she could not remember what was different, and she closed her eyes to return to sleep. Images shot across her hazy brain and she frowned, unable to place the sharp, dark, flashes, a hand gripping her stomach, a mouth on her neck, a broad bare chest pressing her backwards, and a pair of intense blue eyes boring into her own.   
Mara's eyes snapped open and she took a deep breath. For the first time she noticed there was an arm across her stomach, and someone exhaled in her ear. Regret, anger, sadness, fear, and panic moved through her in rapid cycles. She carefully lifted Luke's arm off her stomach and slid out of the bed. She grabbed a robe and paused on the way to the door to view the sleeping Jedi Master. He was lying on his stomach, his head buried in the pillows, the comforter twisted around his waist, exposing his back. The morning sun warmed the skin on his shoulders and Mara felt her breath catch at the sudden swirl of emotion the sight created in her. She stared a moment longer, blinked, and moved out the door softly.   
Mara's mind was racing as she silently poured herself some coffee and made her way out to the balcony. She stood there for a while, watching the world below her awake. It was calm, peaceful, and pretty. Mara felt her heart ache as the confusing emotions chased themselves across her mind. She closed her eyes and tried to clear them away. A cool breeze announced the presence of another on the balcony. Mara whirled. Luke blinked sleepily at her, wearing only his loose sleep pants. Mara could not stop her eyes from wandering across his chest and stomach and she felt heat staining her cheeks as he met her eyes, grinning. She turned away suddenly and he came up beside her on the balcony. He stood in companionable silence for a moment before opening his mouth.   
  
"So-" He was abruptly cut off as Mara raised her hand.   
  
"Listen," Her voice was like ice. She glanced down at her cup and tightened her hold on it. "What happened last night was a mistake, it's never going to happen again, and we are never going to speak of it again." She met Luke's eyes, trying to put on her best dangerous face. "Is that understood?" Luke studied her eyes, no sign of panic or anger in his calm, placid eyes. He smiled and reached his hand out to her cup. Mara jerked at the physical contact and surrendered her cup easily. Luke lifted it to his own lips and lowered it, eyes shinning.   
  
"Do you really want that, Mara?" His voice was soft and soothing. Mara started to answer, but this time Luke stayed her. "I know you don't." Mara frowned and tried to raise some semblance of a shield, but there was no preimiter to be found. She frowned and closed her eyes and bit her lip in concentration. After a strained few minuets her eyes snapped open to reveal the wrath of their master.   
  
"What." Her voice was underlined. "did you do?" Luke hid a smile behind the mug.   
  
"I? I did nothing. We did something." If he didn't think Mara Jade could get any more threatening, he was wrong. Her eyes narrowed and he was quite sure she had clenched her fists a long time ago. He favored her with a easy smile. "You see Jade, what happened during the course of last night, among other things, the last few barriers between us were irrevocably knocked down, and our bond has achieved full strength. Mara stared at him.   
  
"Full strength?" She whispered. Luke nodded.   
  
"You can no longer raise shields between us because you no longer know where I begin and you end." Luke set the cup down and turned to face her on the railing and suddenly Mara could not meet his eyes. "So you can imagine it might be a tad bit difficult for us to go on about our lives as though this never happened." Luke reached out and slid his hand around her waist and jerked her closer to him. She glared at him furiously and he smiled at her. "There's another complication too, 'cause," he paused and leaned down and found her lips and Mara had to resist the urge to throw her arms around him as fire sprang up to dance franticly in her chest. Luke pulled away and Mara was lost in an ocean of calm peaceful blue. "'cause that's love, Mara." Mara felt her breath catch in her throat and she bit her lip. Her face did not change, but her hands caught the side of Luke's face. All that needed to be said was revealed in the depths of her emerald eyes. (A/N: in other words, the author gets a break!!!:) joy and happiness to you all!..:))  
Luke closed the distance between them once again, and Mara flung her arms around him as he gently pushed her backwards until they thumped against the door to the balcony. She could hear Luke laughing to himself, and for the first time she felt his laughter echoed in the depths of her throat as she fumbled with the latch and they crashed through the door clumsily.   
  
One Year Later!  
Mara blinked as the sun fell across her features and she turned her eyes from their previous target to the new-risen sun. She observed the view for a few moments and then turn her eyes back to the room where Luke lay, in a tangle of blankets, his bare back exposed, face turned towards her, mouth slightly open. Mara's watched for a few minuets before, by some unspoken connection, Luke roused himself from sleep and his heavy lidded eyes opened and found Mara's. Mara watched him, no expression on her face, and Luke's eyes blinked sleepily and he smiled softly at her and rolled on his back. Mara stood at the window in her short night shirt and made her way to the bed. Luke watched her approach sleepily and smiled as she stood at the side of the bed, gazing down at him. The darkness had completely left her mind, Luke mused to himself, and now she had all three of the things she had ached for that long lonely night when she had awoken him across the space-time continuum. Luke smiled and snaked his arm out to grip her wrist suddenly, his sudden change in mood not giving her any advance warning. Mara took a step back, but Luke yanked and with the aid of the force, Mara tumbled into the bed by him with a muffled curse. Luke effectively immobilized his wife's, albeit dangerous, half-hearted attempts to free herself and descended upon her mercilessly. He paused a moment, a breath away, and Mara smiled at him, a beautiful, peaceful, joyous smile, and Luke smiled back before kissing her. Between them a small presence flickered in response to the joy surrounding it.   
  
(A/N: END!....finally!!...:) now...as some of you know...my stories are simply long-winded methods of promoting the Dixie Chicks...:) therefore:  
  
"Country Musicians aren't born dull, but they're quick studies. It is a generally held country principle that rough edges translate into lower sales, so record labels often send their most promising acts to media-training schools for a good dulling down. The stars of the future are then taught how to smile with lots of teeth, tilt their hats at the proper roguish-but not too roguish-angle and repeat variations on the "I'm just so glad to be making the music I love" palaver that plays between videos on Country Music Television. On her first day at media school, the Dixie Chicks' lead singer, Natalie Maines told her instructor an oral-sex joke. The Dixie Chicks flunked media school."   
--Beginning of new Time article on the Chicks....:D:D:D they're such rebels...:) rebels with a new CD out on Aug, 27!...it's called Home...go get it! 


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